The popular belief among Melanoid people here in the States is that our women can assume two parental roles, of both mother and father, and this has caused a rift within our family structure. Another disturbing occurrence in Black Society is to witness a terrible double standard. This double standard consists of heaping praise upon Melanoid women just for the simple fact that they gave birth to a child, while ignoring the irresponsible acts of some mothers in Black Society who fall short of properly bringing up their children. Meanwhile, Melanoid men who might have the burning desire to raise their children and be heavily involved in their children’s lives are often kept away from their children in the form of highly restrictive child support laws, vindictive mothers, and racism/white supremacy. In the process, he is severely punished by the court system, publicly ridiculed by his community, and unfairly suffers from a damaged reputation as a Black father. The aforementioned factors are a result of the all-out war on Melanoid men, which in most cases is more severe than the war on Melanoid women and children.

One month after the Mother’s Day celebrations, it is intended for the fathers to be honored on Father’s Day in June. However, many of us have now seen the social media posts in recent years that read something like: “Happy Father’s Day to all of the REAL fathers out there.” For the sake of this particular topic, why isn’t the same commentary given to the mothers of Black Society? Isn’t there an obligation in Black Society for both “real” Black fathers AND mothers to be present in order to serve as the strong foundation of our families? Are Black fathers so inherently immoral that they can only receive praise with strings attached?

Although we as Melanoid people in this society face a common enemy–the system of racism/white supremacy–we must be mindful that our internal bickering in regards to our fathers and mothers must be resolved, because the children have been suffering the most in this process. We must also realize that people in the dominant society are entertained by our excessive celebration of Black mothers and shaming of Black fathers at every opportunity possible. Both parents serve a role in their children’s lives, and while it is admirable that we feel that we must take the time to celebrate our mothers today, let us do the same for our fathers (in the event of special occasions such as Father’s Day) in an equally loving and authentic way.

by B. Clark