Today, much of the country is observing Mother’s Day. Women will be showered with praise and respect from others as they are recognized for their roles as mothers. In Black Society–particularly Black American Society–the celebration of Black motherhood has been bolstered, often at the expense of Black fatherhood.
The popular belief among Melanoid people here in the States is that our women can assume two parental roles, of both mother and father, and this has caused a rift within our family structure. Another disturbing occurrence in Black Society is to witness a terrible double standard. This double standard consists of heaping praise upon Melanoid women just for the simple fact that they gave birth to a child, while ignoring the irresponsible acts of some mothers in Black Society who fall short of properly bringing up their children. Meanwhile, Melanoid men who might have the burning desire to raise their children and be heavily involved in their children’s lives are often kept away from their children in the form of highly restrictive child support laws, vindictive mothers, and racism/white supremacy. In the process, he is severely punished by the court system, publicly ridiculed by his community, and unfairly suffers from a damaged reputation as a Black father. The aforementioned factors are a result of the all-out war on Melanoid men, which in most cases is more severe than the war on Melanoid women and children.
One month after the Mother’s Day celebrations, it is intended for the fathers to be honored on Father’s Day in June. However, many of us have now seen the social media posts in recent years that read something like: “Happy Father’s Day to all of the REAL fathers out there.” For the sake of this particular topic, why isn’t the same commentary given to the mothers of Black Society? Isn’t there an obligation in Black Society for both “real” Black fathers AND mothers to be present in order to serve as the strong foundation of our families? Are Black fathers so inherently immoral that they can only receive praise with strings attached?
Although we as Melanoid people in this society face a common enemy–the system of racism/white supremacy–we must be mindful that our internal bickering in regards to our fathers and mothers must be resolved, because the children have been suffering the most in this process. We must also realize that people in the dominant society are entertained by our excessive celebration of Black mothers and shaming of Black fathers at every opportunity possible. Both parents serve a role in their children’s lives, and while it is admirable that we feel that we must take the time to celebrate our mothers today, let us do the same for our fathers (in the event of special occasions such as Father’s Day) in an equally loving and authentic way.
by B. Clark
Yeah…I see a lot of this. Women that claim to be both mother AND father. It really reveals itself on Father’s Day, and how they can’t allow father’s this single day. On Facebook, you’ll see the usual Happy Father’s Day wishes, but women will always chime in with “Don’t forget all the mothers that are holdin’ it down as both mother and father, blah, blah, blah.” Well…first of all, you have Mother’s Day for that, and pretty much every other day. But part of the problem is YOU don’t respect fathers, and really don’t want a man around. You drive him off, then ask for a pat on the back. You’re a single mother. That’s it. You’re not a father also. You can’t replace the presence of a man.
Good one…i really believe valuing family hood, and putting it back together is step one. It’ll will solve a lot of our problems, not all but a lot. We will also be able to organize more easier(more discipline). Civil Movement came from 80% families. Families is a shield from negative influences and propaganda. Family gives you a level of shame, discipline, respect, wisdom, economics etc. If we could put the mother, father, and child back together during our generation. Then that would be success! We can’t solve all our problems in one lifetime. If we focus on this one problem(family). The next generationso will be well on their way. Can’t get to B and C without going through A first.
I find the overall message insightful and positive but I still harbor mix feelings about single mothers. On one hand I feel the same as Timothy and Michael2608 but then another part of me see those single mothers who do try to do their best to raise their child because their child’s father has his priorities screwed up.
I am trying to stick to the subject at hand but I feel if potential partners really take the time out to see what each other is all about then there would be less single parents, whether they are single mothers or single fathers. I truly believe this so called “single black parent problem” would not be a real problem if both parties would stop thinking of the now (hooking up physically) and instead think of the future consequences of their potential present hook-up. I feel a lot people just don’t care anymore about consequences, responsibility or accountability, they want what they want, when they want it and don’t give a damn who may be negatively affected from the outcome.
I also think some good females end up with no good baby’s daddies and some good males end up with a no good baby’s mammas but if they would have really took the time out to find out what the other was all about they could have seen through the game and refrain from bringing another life form into this world who would be at a huge disadvantage in society because of the lack of a mother and father in the household. Plz chime in any one if you disagree. I just don’t know…you know.
It’s one thing to end up single and alone , trying to raise children, and quite another to start off that way – which is the usual way for Black women. A woman can never be both mother and father. Children do better in healthy, two-parent households, yet so many of us deprive our offspring of that experience….and then put men on blast for not being around. The best mothers seek to provide the best environment for their children to thrive. They want their children to have every opportunity to succeed. They’re responsible with their reproductivity. They think about the men they allow in their lives. You don’t get a crown just because you got pregnant and birthed a child.
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